attention!
Starting a blog feels a bit insane to me. I find so much of myself through writing, but I cringe at the idea of, a.) putting myself out there for all to see, and b.) thinking too highly of myself. I also hate to act as if "woe is me." It seems to be that the only way through this is by taking a brave step outside my comfort zone. I shudder at the thought.
Anyway, here we are-- my brave step. I think often about how I would feel about attention if I did not grow up in the age of smartphones. Would I have the desire to share myself online? Would I fill this void with something else? The push and pull of wanting to be seen and needing to hide is one that I don't think is new, as far as technology goes, but social media absolutely complicates it. I have posted something on Instagram just to delete it 45 minutes later out of fear of being seen. Why did I post at all?
I think this is my step towards a balance that feels authentic. Not only will I be flexing my writing muscle, but I can also scratch that pesky internet itch. Maybe one day I won't have to share online to feel fulfilled. Maybe one day I will share online without any care whether or not it is well received. I think the only way I will get there is if I start.